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We really love following up with our friend Karen, because her journey is particularly interesting. She spent many years as a successful relationship coach and seminar leader. She worked with and transformed the lives of many people. For the past year or so, she has been going through her own life transition. She was walking in the park recently, thinking about the direction of her life. If we come here to learn a life lesson, she wondered, what is mine? Finding no ready answers, she went home and brought the question up to her husband. She asked him what HE thought her life lessons were, since he knows her better than anyone. What Are My Life Lessons? She's lucky to have a really great guy who didn't answer her. He instead started asking her some thought-provoking questions. “Look at your life from birth to the time you left home and tell me what you learned,” he asked. After she thought about it and responded, he continued asking questions about the various phases of her life, waiting patiently for her to consider her answers and respond. Here are some examples of the questions he asked:
As Karen told us her story, this beautiful look of wonder and curiosity and joy come into her eyes. "There have always been things I've known in my head”, she said. “I'm very intellectual, observant, analytical, skeptical, and smart. But, I never made the connection between knowing something in my head, and "knowing" it to the very core of my BE-ing." Making that connection, she said, was the result of going through the process of reviewing her life and speaking what she learned out loud to her husband. What I Know Now It was amazing to watch her FEEL and see the tumblers fall into place as her body, heart, and mind lined up in total congruency. “What I discovered, she said, “and what I KNOW...is that there is no end to love. And all I want to do now is to give love away.” In that instant, Karen saw who she REALLY is and why she is here on the planet. Her friends, who already know that’s who she is, are delighted to watch how she creates the “form” of her life around giving love away. She recently adopted a new four-footed friend named Kady (Karen’s Dog) into her household. She’s investigating and considering a number of volunteer opportunities. The best thing is how Karen seems to have “relaxed” into her life. Her relationship to her job has shifted completely, she continues to enjoy her new home, and she seems to be loving her life, moment by moment. What’s Next on My Path? Karen added this final thought: “I had another realization this past weekend in another great conversation with my husband. I don't seem to see the simplest things about myself and my life until I verbalize them. I notice that I waste valuable time thinking I should be "accomplishing" something. I spent many years "doing" until I hit burnout. Then I stopped "doing" and thought I could relax. But stopping "doing" has been completely unfulfilling. I've lived my life in one of two modes:
“When I'm "doing" I have tons of fun, but I'm virtually kept unconscious by the constant activity. When I'm “not-doing", I'm depressed, bored and hard on myself.” “Just "being" is really a mystery to me. I thought that I'd mastered "being" but I had really only mastered "doing". It’s when I'm "not-doing" that who I'm being is obvious.” “Now, through this period of relative "not-doing", there's nothing to camouflage who I'm being in life. I know I didn't get here by accident. I designed this path to lead me to "not-doing" to teach myself about "being". So rather than resisting it and looking for more "doing" to do, I'm learning (slowly) to just "be" for the first time. This is one of the most challenging but most revealing parts of my journey. And one of the most rewarding, I suspect.” I’ve Found Love and Laughter I've done a lot of work throughout the years, but it wasn't until I started working with Teri that I began to let down the barriers that kept me from feeling fulfilled and peaceful, things I've been yearning for all my life. She and Sue provide the most nurturing environment I've ever found. I've learned to trust them with my deepest fears and sorrows and, in so doing, I know that I can trust myself. It's been tough at times. They tell the truth and sometimes that's the last thing I want to hear. I've resisted, gotten pissed off, withdrawn and held onto my positions. But they've loved me through it all, no matter what. No one could have finer companions on the journey. Besides, nothing's as good for the soul as Teri's belly laugh!
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